Look At Me
by Love-Jane25
Summary: Lily has a mysterious visitor on her wedding day. One who has never stopped loving her.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

* * *

Lily stared intently into the glossy mirror as her maid of honor, and closest friend, tightly intertwined the satin ribbons of her wedding dress. Lily tilted her head inquisitively and tried to imagine herself with James at the altar. She wanted to smile at this thought, but something strange clouded her mind, a dark yet familiar figure. Her friend's voice sharply pulled her back to reality, "Oh Lily, you look absolutely gorgeous!" Lily smiled shyly. "Ready to go?" her friend inquired. Wedding bells were joyously ringing in the distance. "Um, give me just a minute," said Lily, "I need to think a bit." Her friend smiled reassuringly and gave her a quick side hug before bouncing out the door with excitement. The old wooden door of the Potters' attic creaked closed, leaving Lily completely alone.

She reached out her pale hand and tried to touch whom she could not see, whom she regrettably _wanted_ to see. She shook her curly locks attempting to clear her cluttered mind. She tried instead to focus on James, his dark tousled hair, his handsome features, his lovely toned arms. A faint pop behind her whisked her away from her fantasies. She spun around, her white transparent veil shimmering in the morning sunlight streaming through the open window. A light breeze blew the veil's weightless fabric over her green eyes. She gasped in horror at the sight of the man, not because she wasn't pleased to see him, actually because she _was_.

As she stared into his sallow face, her lip quivered and her eyes burned with tears of happiness. His black eyes were full of tears also, though; they were tears of intense longing and sadness. This man had lived a life of hatred and darkness. The love in Lily's pale face seemed so innocent that it looked as though it was piercing his very soul. The man stood silently in the shadows unsure of how to act upon her expression. She ran forwards, slightly clumsily in her long dress, and fell into his weak arms. He looked taken aback at her enthusiasm, but then, as warmly as he could, he embraced her. She laid her red curls upon his bony shoulder. Together they looked like polar opposites; the pale, pure, white against the dark, torn, black.

"Severus," Lily whispered, tears now cascading down her cheeks into his black greasy hair. She felt him shaking beneath her arms and she saw that he was sobbing too. Severus' arms were vicelike around Lily's body. Like he was gripping her for life itself. Realizing the situation, Lily suddenly backed away.

Her eyes widened, "No, no…Severus…on my wedding day?" Lily turned away to the open window, "Why would you come back? How can you still love me?! It's wrong!" Lily ran her fingers along the creaked wooden sill. "Leave," she said with as much hatred as she could muster.

She felt a tug on the hem of her wedding dress; Severus was kneeling on the floor beside her now. Agony was emblazed upon his tired face.

"I didn't come to answer questions, I didn't come to hate you for marrying…him," he spit the word out as though it were a nasty swear word. "I just want to know…why? Why him?...and not me." he finished quietly, almost pathetically. She pulled him roughly to his feet.

"Because…" she said firmly, stretching her hand out and forcefully grabbed his left forearm. He shuddered and gave a pained expression. Both of them knowing the Dark Mark was burned into his skin underneath the sleeve.

"That's why!" she said fiercely. "James would never."

Severus hung his head in shame. "I," he stammered, "I…I didn't know."

"You didn't know what?! That Voldemort kills innocent people, that he even tortures his own death eaters! What?!" Lily yelled, tears pouring down her face, "What didn't you know! Surely you couldn't think I would love you with all that! You're despicable." Severus backed away.

"You don't know what you're talking about." He whispered venomously.

"I know where I stand, and I know where you stand. Severus, I can't deny that I love you, but it is wrong. And I will never look at you again. I hate you." she added with malice glaring into his black eyes. Severus drew a sharp intake of breath.

"Just, please," he begged, "One last time…look at me." But Lily only turned away once again.

"Then please know," he continued, "that I will never stop loving you."

"You love him…Voldemort…more." She said this not as a question, but a statement.

"I cannot escape," he pleaded, and with a final shudder, he disapperated. Severus promised himself at that moment that he would never again shed another tear for Lily…Potter.

Lily could not hold herself together anymore, shaking uncontrollably she fell to the ground crying. She cried for her hurt and broken friend, for her love for him, for his future…and for hers. Finally, she stood up and left the room prepared to face the unknown. To marry the man she loved, a good and brave man. And to leave her past behind her.

Forever.


End file.
